Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
