If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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