So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
