Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
