is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
