I'm gonna have a badass scar
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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