dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
