I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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