So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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