Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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