Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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