So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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