im having a threesome with these popsicles
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
