Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
