We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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