just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
