This is not my ceiling
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
