When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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