He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
did i just pee glitter
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
