If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize