Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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