just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
