so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
