Cold hands, warm shart.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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