sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
