I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
