everyone is single if you try hard enough
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
