i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize