Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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