Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
