found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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