i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
