I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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