My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
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