she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
