Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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