She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
