I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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