Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
