Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
