There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
