There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
