Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
