Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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