I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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