Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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