Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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