There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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