You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
