she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
