Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
