i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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