Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
