Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
