Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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