I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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