Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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