is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
